Hey everyone, it’s me.

I’m the Jolly Green Giant. Yeah, that one. Ho ho ho and all that.

So, I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, and I guess I finally got around to it. I mean, it was a bit of a challenge getting everything working right at first, because I feel like phones just keep getting smaller and smaller, and I’m, well, 50 feet tall. I tend to fall victim to autocorrect a lot. Do they even make phones with physical keyboards anymore?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. What’s this thing gonna be all about? This blog is basically my own personal ramblings, but to keep The Suits happy, I’m gonna be throwing in recipes, too. You’d think that having your name on the company would make things easier, but I swear, getting them to the point where I could just sit and write down whatever I want without them removing it was hard. Like, getting your kid to eat broccoli without cheese hard. So The Suits need recipes. I can do that.

Anyway, I’m just happy to have a voice. I mean, one that says more than Ho ho ho. I think that I’ve got a unique perspective on life, being 50 feet tall and all, and I think some folks out there are gonna like what I’ve got to say.

Seeing as this is the very first post, I think it’s only appropriate that we start off with an appetizer. One of my personal favorites is a bit of a new twist on an old standby: brussels sprouts and bacon skewers. These things are delicious, perfect for a party, and are good for people who are trying to cut down on carbs. They’re ideal for summer, too, because when you finish them on the grill, they are just sheer, smokey perfection.

Ho ho ho,




1 pound bacon, not too fatty
2 pounds brussels sprouts
1 teaspoon clarified butter
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
Small wooden skewers


  1. Cut the bacon strips in half, lengthwise, and fry them over medium heat until they are just starting to get done. You’re gonna be cooking them more later, so don’t worry too much about it. Save a bit of grease in the pan, because we’re gonna sauté the sprouts in it to make the flavors really come together.
  2. Cut the brussels sprouts in half lengthwise. Add the sprouts, clarified butter, garlic powder, and sea salt to the frying pan. Sauté on medium heat until the sprouts are just starting to turn golden brown and are tender.
  3. Assemble the skewers by threading 1 end of the bacon onto the end of a skewer. Add a brussels sprout slice, and weave the bacon around the sprout and back through the skewer, creating a wave pattern between the sprouts. Move the bacon and the sprout down the skewer, and repeat this process 2-3 more times for each skewer.
  4. Fire up the grill, and set them over a moderate amount of heat until the bacon is cooked and the sprouts are starting to blacken. You wanna get a little of the char on there, because that’s delicious.
  5. If you don’t have a grill, then preheat the oven to 375º F. Bake the skewers in a baking pan for 5-10 minutes, or until the bacon is fully cooked. Still good, but c’mon. you know you wanna grill these suckers.